5 dollars and 4 people

It was Saturday morning. My world was waking up and the sounds of life began to permeate the silence I had been in for some time. One by one as the children began to emerge from the comfort of their warm beds, the excitement began to build as we talked of the day that lie ahead and all the adventure that would be experienced on our trek in the mountains. Giggles and high fives were had by all and then Daddy walked in.

He was a bit more sober than the rest of us and then he announced that the plans for the day had been changed. He shared his desire for the day with us as we sat around the kitchen table. As he spoke, my thoughts trailed off to the time when I had prayed for a man who loved God more than I did and then my reflection was interrupted when that man's voice broke. He was caught up in the description of his morning with the Lord and composing himself, he laid out before us the new and improved family day.

There were 30, one dollar bills and we each received five. They were given to us to give away. Our mission was to ask the Lord to lead us to broken, hurting people who needed the love of Jesus. The idea was to sharpen our discernment skills, be led by the Spirit, go when you're asked too even if you don't know why or where and to teach our children how to respond when the Savior wants to pour Himself out over and over for the sake of others. With our water bottles in hand, a loaf of fresh, baked bread to share for lunch, we headed off to be used of the Master. Destination unknown.

After a while, we found ourselves driving around Ft. Collins and realized that we didn't do this often enough. We were rusty...usually when we are out and about, we are the reason. Our goal is to cross something off of our list, complete a task and feel like our day is productive. This was different. There was no list. We were just looking and listening.

There he was. Standing at the bus stop on a side street, wearing a backpack, his heart called out to us. We made the block and found a place to park. As we passed in front of him and slowed the car to a stop, we noticed that he didn't look so "needy". His clothes were clean and he appeared as one of us. Yes, we questioned if we had heard correctly and then concluded that we must be obedient and approach him. One by one we all bounded out of the car. With dollar bills in our pockets and smiles on our faces we met Daniel. He had just gotten out of prison from serving an 18 year sentence for growing certain kinds of plants. His countenance was radiant as he listened to the children introduce themselves and then our explanation of why we were there. He was overwhelmed and didn't want to accept the single dollar bill that was offered to him. Daniel needed money but he was content with receiving the love of Jesus that we had come to give. He shared his story and how he had found his Savior in prison but was so thankful to be reminded of God's love for him on that particular day. Then just like that, the bus pulled up and Daniel got on and rode away. I watched with tears in my eyes and marveled how at any given moment the King of Glory can break through our routine to interrupt life as we know it and remind us that there's a purpose, a calling, a Love that wishes to be shared, experienced and then given away.

There were more that day....Red, Jay and the Planned Parenthood worker. Each had their own unique response to God's love. All but one received it.

As we felt our day was coming to an end, we slipped our remaining dollars in our pockets to be used another day, and settled back into our car and began the drive on the long way home. There was a lot to process and we all knew that though we were going back to our familiar life, we were different. We had been used. It felt good. It felt right.

Each armed with 5 dollars. Four unsuspecting people. It had been a good day.

News! News! Read All About It!

Hello friends!

I have a new web address for my blog. It is no longer theoldyellowmailbox.blogspot.com but can now be found at simplifyandintensify.blogspot.com!

Thanks for following and have a wonderful day!

Blessings!

Baby Steps

Have you ever had a dream? Not the kind that you remember when you wake up in the morning, but the kind that is born in your heart and takes weeks, months and sometimes years to become reality? Steve and I have. Years ago, the dream of adopting was planted in our hearts. We didn't have this dream because we weren't able to conceive, quite the opposite, we were able to have children and did so, over and over...we were blessed with four beautiful children of our own. However, at the end of the day we found that our hearts were still longing for these children that wouldn't be born to us. Not only did that ache live in our hearts but in the hearts of our four biological children. Over the years it grew in them as they seemed to gravitate towards pictures of orphans, stories of orphans, ministries that helped support orphans.....

Then finally last year, the Lord spoke to us through the most unlikely source, our youngest child, Nathan. He came to us with his older sister, Anna, and with the two of them weeping, he said, "Mommy and Daddy, God spoke to me". Of course, Steve and I gave them both our undivided attention....it's not every day that your four year old comes to you and tells you that he's heard the voice of God....it's not every day that I hear the voice of God, so we were certainly interested in what He had to say.

He proceeded to say that as he was playing when God spoke to him and said "It is time to get the two babies (a boy and a girl)". Anna had been there and Nathan told her. Anna told us that when she heard it she "burst into tears" because she "knew it was the word of the Lord". As we sat there we began to cry as we realized that after all these years, the time of adoption was upon us and at the same time knew that we were helpless to do anything about it. Financially, things weren't the best for us but that did not diminish the hope and joy that began to stir in our hearts. We knew if God had put the dream in our hearts then He would provide for it.

It's been a year since that happened and while life has gone on, those words have remained in our hearts and on our tongues. We speak of that time often and have wondered when God was going to move, after all He said it was time.

This Wednesday we received a letter in the mail from friends of ours in Minnesota and when I opened it I began to cry as I read their letter. They spoke of God's faithfulness and our friendship and then shared how God had put it in their hearts to contribute to the "Rosen Babies Fund" and that they wanted to invest into the dream that was in our hearts. Their gift put us one fourth of the way towards what we need in order for the home study to happen. Then the process begins.

It's not like we will have our son and daughter any time soon (unless God does a miracle - which He CAN do) but it does mean that God has begun to move. Our children wept with delight and we watched as their faces conveyed the joy in their hearts and their awe of our faithful God.

As we added pennies and silver dollars to the fund, we rejoiced at the goodness of our God. "He who has begun a good work will be faithful to complete it"...

Heavenly Father, we praise you for your heart towards the orphan and for planting that love for them within us. Our desire is to become to them what you were to us...a loving Father that saw His children lost, starving, alone and dying and you found us and brought us into your Kingdom that we might forever enjoy a beautiful relationship with you. Where ever your children/our children are, please keep them from harm and watch over them and bring us safely together for your purposes. Thank you Lord. Thank you so much.

Well, we have a long way to go but this week we're not dwelling on that ... we are dwelling in Christ and His promises and are celebrating ~ baby steps.

I Don't Know If You Really Know

My morning began as every morning did last year, yet, something was different about today. It was a new year....a time for new beginnings. I always think it would be nice to begin a new year with a profound word from the Lord and then my course would be set. My year would be a journey in which God would take me on.... full of adventure and great discovery.

The word that He spoke to me this particular new year would be one that would undo me and bring me to my knees rather than fill my sails with air....

As always, God speaks to me through my mothering experiences and this was quite the experience. Once again, I found myself in a situation that was unfamiliar. I found myself holding one of my children after experiencing a time of frustration in parenting and I said to her with tears in my eyes, "I don't know if you really know how much I love you". As quickly as those words left my lips, I heard them in my heart, "I don't know if you really know how much I love you". They seemed to reverberate off the walls of my heart as if it were empty...."I don't know if you know how much I love you".... over and over and over again.

Later, after a beautiful time of intimacy with my daughter, I found myself pondering those words...."I don't know if you really know how much I love you". They lingered on. Is it true? Could it be? That after such a dramatic display of selflessness and mercy on the Cross, I could still not know the depths of the love of God towards me? My heart ached as I wept over the anguish that must be in God's heart because His children don't fully know His love for them...they've become caught up in life and oh, how difficult it is to resist this life and all that it demands. But there He is, watching and waiting and yes, grieving because He longs for the intimacy that comes when His love is realized.

Lord, I long to spend this year discovering the depths of your Love. Please give me the strength to turn away from the demands of motherhood and the distractions of this life and help me find a secret time and place to daily bask in your presence and receive all the Love that you have for me. I know that I cannot even show the love that is in my heart for my children to them, unless I have fully embraced your love for me. I will stumble and fall short every time unless you rescue me. Thank you for reminding me in the midst of my own cry for intimacy with my daughter that it is the same with you...you want me to know the depths of your Love for me. I desire it too. And, if I remember correctly, you said that you would give me the desires of my heart if I sought you first....so, today I seek you and ask that you would give me the eyes to see, the ears to hear and the heart to feel the depths of your great Love so that I might in turn be your Love to those around me. Amen.